Humor Jokes

Your Hairline is so far back it left before your dad

I got banned from the library from putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

What's Al Quieda's favorite footbal team?

New York Jets

Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?

my friend: Chunky dunks

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head

Even Steph Curry can’t hit threes from behind your hairline

All my jokes are cys for help

INCLUDING THIS ONE

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...