Humor
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?