Humor

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?

New York Jets.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Some people think incest jokes are funny.

I just think it's all relative.

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”

Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”

Condom: “Hahaha...”

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.