Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? same time next month?
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
What do u call a dwarf suicide bomber? A party popper
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it Leaves and never comes back
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said "i am still choosing" she looked horrified
I did a bunjee jump for charity recently. It was called spastics on elastics
