Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Humor
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
I came here to laugh.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!