Humor

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?

A: Tickle its balls.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.

Lady: What did you do?

Man: I took a day off...

What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?

A LETHAL WEAPON!

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.

Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?

A. A boner.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.