Humor

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A Lawn Moo-er.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!

What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?

Because there is no ramp to heaven.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?

A: Tickle its balls.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.

Lady: What did you do?

Man: I took a day off...

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."