Humor

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

Where do fish keep their money?

In a riverbank!

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

I came here to laugh.

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

How do you know a hippie is on her period?

Her socks are missing.

How do you know she's off?

Her socks are tye-dye.

What do you call a cup with a handle?

A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(