Humor
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Memes
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."