Humor
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Memes
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.