Humor
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Q: What is 9 + 11?
A: 9/11
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco