Humor
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.