Humor
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Penis.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.