Humor

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.

Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.

Did you SEA what I did there?

GUY: Yes

Are you SHORE?

This page.

What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit.

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?

A Juanda.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.

Immigration jokes just cross the line.

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...