Humor
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Dead baby jokes never get old...
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Puns, that's how I roll.
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Eat my butt.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...