Humor
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
duha is gay hahahahahaha.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill-arious! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, very funny!
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.