Humor
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"