Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.

  • 1
  • One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

    After a minute, a boy stands up.

    The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

    The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

  • 9
  • This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

    So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

    The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

    So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

    When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

    The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

  • 8
  • What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

    If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

  • 2
  • Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

    I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.