Cheesiest jokes.
Humor
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
Eggs
You crack me up!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
