Humor
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.