Humor
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
sans *a'm i pune*
*piris* no.
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.