Humor

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

How do Chinese people name their children?

They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?

They'll end up only throwing the pin.

Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

OR

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.

Only a genius can say this.

I am stupid.

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

What's the city with the fastest growing population?

Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?