Humor

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

What is an orphan's favorite beer?

"Fosters."

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?

- F4, F U, then last F U Q.

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?

"I'm wiped!"

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

I am funny.

What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

PORK-CHOP