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Humor

Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

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    • What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

    The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

    A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

    It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

    What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

    Christopher Walken.

    Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

    I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.