Humor
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.