Humor

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

Deez nuts!

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?

Cheddar!

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.