I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."