Humor

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."

Abigail Brynn Welch is not funny.

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

Goofy ahh jokes below.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

Memories: I have ligma.

Ligma what?

Ligma balls.

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

How many balls do you have on your body?

2. Your butt.

Men.

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!