Humor
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
I have a little John.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.