Humor
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
What's the biggest joke ever? Gender equality.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.