Humor
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
kiibati orojo?
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
What's the biggest joke ever? Gender equality.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.