Hows jokes
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.