Hows jokes

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?

Five.

Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.

Peter Griffin's chin.

Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

How does a rapper make a burrito?

With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!

How does a rapper start his day?

With a MIC check!

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.

How do rappers stay organized?

They keep their rap sheets in order.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He hit Alt+F4.

Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.

Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?

Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"