Hows jokes
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
How I talk: Hello
How Stitch talks: HeLlO.
My cousin be like :
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!