Hows jokes
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
How do rappers stay organized?
With rhyme books instead of planners!
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
Why did the rapper smoke dope?
To learn how to drop some DOPE beats!
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How was Jenga invented?
By watching the Twin Towers collapse.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.