Hows jokes
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
Peter Griffin's chin.
Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?
Memes
My brother when he's mad
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.
So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.