Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Hows Jokes
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
