Hows jokes
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
"m m, ,m ,mbjbjb" is how she spelled.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How's it going @#$!
How do you tell a child they have cancer? With a smile on your face.