Hows jokes
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How is the weather down there?
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*