Hows jokes
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.