Hows jokes
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Memes
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓