Hows jokes
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Memes
How much?
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.