Hows jokes
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.
Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.
PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.
Thank you.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)