Hows jokes
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Memes
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)