Hows jokes
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"