Hows jokes
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?