Hows jokes
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Memes
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)