How Many jokes
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.