How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb. None, because they can't change anything.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb? One. To hire the Mexicans.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
