How Many jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.