How Many Jokes

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house

None because they don't have a home

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? 7 when i tried

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?

”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”

So one day a teacher asked how many of you have thought of committing suicide half of the class raised their hand but the teacher said “ Where is Jesse and John “ ?

How many kids does it take to paint a wall ?

Depends on how hard u throw them 😂😂😂😂

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time....

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb. None, because they can't change anything.

There are 50 dogs and 48 cats. How many are hungry?

A.10

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu'um.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)