How Many jokes

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5

4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 10, since my basement's still dark.