How Many jokes
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.