How Many

How Many Jokes

Gay

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Friend

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

  • 0
  • Patient

    How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    To get to the other side!

  • 1
  • Trump supporter

    How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

    None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

    Light Bulb

    How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

    Baby

    How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them.

  • 0
  • Kid

    Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Wanna go ride a bike?

    Emo kid

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

    To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

    You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

    Blonde

    How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    5

    4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

    Marriage

    Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

    Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

    Lightbulb

    How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

    None. They hire me to do it.

    Woman

    How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

    Woman

    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

    Inbreeding

    Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

    Child

    How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

    More than ten, apparently.

  • 0
  • Feminist

    How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

    One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

    ...just kidding-

    - none. They can't change anything.

    Lightbulb

    How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

  • 0
  • Children

    How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

    Feminist

    How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

    9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.