How Many

How Many jokes

Pizza

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

Bean

How many beans are there in Irish chili?

Answer: 239

Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

Hooker

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

Depression

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

Plunger

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.

Kid

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

Head

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Time

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.

Nun

Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"

Me: "Nun."

Trophy

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

Depression

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.