Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
