It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer
What wasStephen Hawkings fav shampoo head n bolts
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? 7 when i tried
Whats the difference between a pc and a 6 year old, i dont have to clean out my pc
What’s the difference between women and cars? At least cars retained some their values after getting wrecked
How are guys and tile floors alike
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them the looser they get
Bro yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this: *error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance* Anyone know what bird that is?
how do u cut your grass without a lawnmower? - u dye it blue and it will cut itself
Q; Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired
How do you make a dishwasher work again? Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it access the road
It got stuck in a crack
In about ten days Stephen Hawkings wheelchair is going to have its first and last service
Uranus is blue from lack of service.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going
