Household

Household Jokes

Name

What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Kid

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

Map

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Baby

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.

Name

what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?

loading the dishwasher.

Maid

The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maid: "No, the gardener did."

Wife: "So how much do you want?"

Singing

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

Suicide

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Dad

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Motherhood

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Wife

What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?

They both have to stay in the kitchen.