What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
