House jokes

Roses are red, my toaster too,

Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.

He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.

What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?

"ADDRESS!"

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

What did the bulldozer say to the house?

"I wanna bulldoze houses!"

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"

He started crying.

What color is Stephen Hawking's house?

It's a bungalow.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

Why do orphans look at a house for so long?

'Cause they never had one.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

How does a rapper clean their house?

With a BEAT BRUSH!

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"