House Jokes

I sold my vacuum the other day. All I got was dust and my moms wig

What would you call a person who hides in a a house for 24 hours and then kills them morgz.

Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.

Why can’t orphanes play poker because they don’t know what a full house is

Kid: where do i put this ppr? teacher: i already said go ask ur neighbors. Kid: Ok *walks home to his neighbors house* Kid: hey neighbor i didn't know where to put this ppr and my teacher said to ask you do you know? Neighbor: no sorry i dont kid: okay bye! *kid walks back to school.* kid: teacher my next door neighbor didn't know. teacher: uhh you went home?! kid: yes you told meh to! teacher: i meant at school! kid: ohhhhhh! teacher: DUH!

homeless person: says to rich person ''im homeless''.Rich person:''Then buy a house''

Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window. When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food." When the man looked confused, the owner said; "Windows are nature's vending machine."

What do you call the White House when a women becomes President. A stable

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

Me, "Hey are your parents home?" Orphan; "Stop calling here."

*me in the corner*

How does a pengiun (how ever you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!!!! https://upjoke.com/penguin-jokes

What time is it when you’re kids stay home 🏡 from school? Say no more

Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs - to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth - a gummy bear!!!!!!

Why do orphans that go to there friends house friends mom:go back to your house it’s late Finn wait can I have your moms phone number Finn friends mom: wait aren’t you a orfinn wait don’t you have a phone Finn? wait I forgot you don’t have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you