House Jokes

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

don’t like this post or else I will go to your house and eat you 😈

What happens to an Orphan that gets on house arrest?

(They Get set Free)

why can't orphans play house flipper? cuz they don't know what to do

hey wake um I just mured you family but I live alone then who are these people in your house they are people in my house well not any more dum bitch you welcome you could have died

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? "No, there are no gost or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.

A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road

Nock Nock Who's there Your mom Your mom who. O shit my moms home honey get the f*** out of my house!

Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave

Yo mama's so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!

Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.

There was a orphan once and someone knocks on his door and said "hello son come and hug me" but the orphan says "excuse me who are you?" and the guy says "you dont remember me im your dad" and then the orphan says "fine then if your really my dad, come inside and let me asked you some questions" and the man says "ok then but i am really your dad" then the orphan asked some questions to the man and the man gets some of them right so the orphan believes that the man is his dad and then the orphan says "you really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house and the orphan has a room mate and the dad and the orpahn finally get to then bedroom and then the dad knocks out the orphan and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan / son and the room mate hears weird noises in the orphans / sons room and he walks in and see them having seggs and the room mate records it but then kicks out the dad out f the house and then the room mate shares the video to the orphans school chat and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce and everybody at the orphans school call him gay but he really isnt but since he was mad and disgusted he pulled a AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so dont take it seriously.

After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.