Some moving men had just begun their days work. The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch. The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
This man came up to me and asked if i could sell my house to him and i said sure then five days later he said that the loan should came in the mailbox then i checked the mail box and the only thing i saw was nothing so i told the guy DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Site nearly as dead as my trim
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
. why cant depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.. . why cant orphans play baseball, Because they cant find home! . a serial killer was at my house all killed all my family but me why, i was in the living room.. . what do sloths and depressed have in common, they both hang off trees.. . what is a group of depressed kids called, the suicide squad
Knock Knock.. Whos there? me
How do you know if an asain has been in your house?
Your dog's gone Your finances are done And your floaties
Your so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Why can happen if you bring a hooker in a stranger's house he will ask you really are you nuts?
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house
What is a difference between a tree tree house house for dinner and dinner today after dinner and dinner with you today after school
One day my pet bark at me and so I got scared anWas my dad actually it was weird you should’ve saw him and so the goes on in the day because he likes to run around The house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
So I stayed at my friends house for a few days and I was like omg why so I am going home because I’m going to my best friend house
What is the difference between a human and a house 🏡? A human can walk and a house 🏡 can not walk
