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Holiday jokes

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Fog

After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"

Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"

Memes

Hall

Deck the halls with bowels of Holly, fa la la la la, la la la la.

A Star Trek character wearing a Santa hat is pictured with the quote: "I do not know who 'Holly' is, but the desire of her enemies to deck the halls with her bowels indicates that she must be a fierce warrior, indeed."

Thanksgiving

me in thanksgiving

A chipmunk with full cheeks is looking worried. The text says, "When you already started eating and someone says 'lets pray'"

Halloween

Do you hear what I hear? | Daily Spooktober Meme #3

A four-panel meme featuring a skeleton. In the first panel, a skeleton lies on the ground with text "sshshhhhh...". In the second panel, another skeleton looks up with the text "You hear that?". In the third panel, the skeleton says "It's the sound of...". In the fourth panel, the skeleton's eyes glow red with laser beams, and the image is 'deep-fried' with text "...Halloween".

New Year

new years be like in my house

The image is a split panel. On the left, the text "Others" is above a blurry image of a crowd celebrating with confetti. On the right, the text "Me" is above a picture of a baby illuminated by the light of a phone in their hands. The words "Same To You" appear multiple times over the baby. Above both images it says "31st December Night".

Mother

so true

The meme shows a dialogue between a mother and her child on Mother's day. The mother asks, "So where are you taking me out to eat?" The child replies, "There's food at the house." The lower part of the meme shows two close-up images of the face of a smiling man.

Mother

When you reverse the roles be like:

The image shows a meme of a text conversation with an image of a young man looking at the camera, and then zoomed in on his face. The text says: "*Mother's day* Mum: So where are you taking me out to eat? Me: There's food at the house."

Parent

The text reads: "Did anyone else's parents used to drive them around neighborhoods to look at people's Christmas lights and it used to be the most exciting thing ever??"

Present

The image shows three panels. The top left panel is a close-up of a gift wrapped in festive paper. The top right panel shows a cardboard box with a small, rectangular item inside. The bottom panel is a close-up of a cartoon image of two fish, one handing the other a small box. The text reads: "I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box."

Grandma

We ain’t got no new memes so here

A cartoon character with a round belly. The text says "when you spend a week at Grandma's".

Christmas

An orange tabby cat sleeps on a gift-wrapped pillow under a Christmas tree. The image text says: "Someone guessed what they're getting for Christmas."

Christmas

A man's face is photoshopped onto the body of a round character wearing a brown hat and brown and white striped top, holding a large red and white swirled lollipop. The text above the image says: w-w-well does this mean i get two quissmassess~?

Religion

The image shows a comic panel with two characters. On the left side, a 'soyjak' character initially says, "Easter was actually originally a pagan holiday!" then in the second row, he is saying, "BUT WE ...", and in the third he is crying saying, "THAT'S NOT...". On the right side, a man in a priest garb is saying, "Keep complaining and we'll take Toyotathon and make it a Christian holiday too." Then in the second row, he says "You just lost Shark Week", and in the third, "SHARK WEEK IS A WEEK LONG CHRISTIAN FESTIVAL NOW."

Valentine

The image shows a pink sign that says, "Surprise your valentine" with some hearts, hanging above a shelf of hammers.

Halloween

fr

A person wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans is positioned with two pumpkins replacing their buttocks. They are facing forward with a smiling pumpkin head. The text overlay reads: "When Halloween is around the corner and that one girl still finds a way to be a th*t."

Room

Now, THAT'S Gotta Hurt...

A cartoon shows a Christmas tree in a room and next to it is a fish tank containing two starfish. A speech bubble coming from the fish tank says "Now, that's gotta hurt..."

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve

The image shows a three-panel scene. In the first panel, a child says: "TONIGHT IS CHRISTMAS EVE." In the second panel, a man replies with: "YES, AND?" The third panel shows the man consoling the child while sitting on a bench. The text says: "AND TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS."

Turkey

A turkey with crab legs and string sausage on a baking tray. The text reads: "A turkey, some crab legs and some string sausage and nobody will ever ask you to make a holiday dinner again."

Santa

A cartoon image shows Santa Claus standing next to a reindeer whose legs have been replaced with cinder blocks. Santa, looking exasperated, is saying, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO STOP IN JACKSONVILLE." The background depicts a snowy urban scene with buildings.

Pumpkin

The image shows two side-by-side photos of a carved pumpkin. The left image shows the unlit pumpkin with a goofy, cartoony face carved into it. The right image shows the same pumpkin with a light inside, making the face glow.

Community

Fun fact: if you die on February 13th you are garunteed to get flowers on valentines day

happy new year dears

Weed and wiskey for new yearsss sahahahhsn

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