Holiday jokes
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Memes
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"