Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
Have a great year!
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
