Holiday jokes
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
me in thanksgiving
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.