Holiday jokes
A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!