Holiday jokes
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.