Holiday jokes
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.