Holiday Jokes

On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me

12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.

Where do pencils go on holiday?

Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We dunno she ain't opened it yet

What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!

Who gave jesus his birthday presents every year?

Santa clause!

Santa claws have a child a bike and a football the child wasn’t happy why

He had no legs

What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?

Moorry Christmas (Even though cows can't really have religions)

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday? Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day. Teacher: Why is that your least favorite? Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive. Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why do Christmas trees 🎄 like wheelchairs ? Beacause the have kids

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for christmas? A new ass because his one has crack on it.

what does the blind, deff child get for christmas

Cancer

What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan nothing they don’t have parents

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays.

Nuns worst holiday? Norfolk. Nuns best holiday?Bangkok.

what is a organ lest fav holiday

crismas they wish they get parents

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE🤬😡

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball you get a white Christmas

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday. But, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.