Holiday jokes
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"